Mid December, we finally had to order a wheel chair for Kassidy. That was one of the hardest days for me. I called the nurse at the oncologist office and couldn't even speak, so I had to call back and was glad to get her voicemail, I left her a message with the best composed voice I could muster at that moment. After the call, all I could do was sob in my car as I drove to one of her bowling matches and then came the anger.
I was angry because we can see that her body is deteriorating and that she cannot do the things she wants to do. Her legs are getting to where they hurt and swell after a long week at school and she's getting where she cannot walk long distances.
That same day when I got to her bowling match she pleasantly surprised me by bowling one of her best games. She bowled her first 200 game!!!!!! I immediately forgot why I was mad and couldn't be happier for her. She was so excited! And I was thankful to God that I could be there to witness it.
Our moment of triumph ended quite quickly after we got home and had dinner and she proceeded to throw up everything she had eaten. Dammit! The tumor reared it's ugly head. But even an episode of vomiting couldn't stop her happiness, she was still so proud of herself for her bowling such a great game and so were we. It put it all in perspective the rest of the evening........
That next week she was so excited cause Kyle was coming home from college and the day after that my family from Panama was coming for Christmas and New Years. She loves having her brother home, she truly misses him. And we haven't seen my family over a year so we were all excited to have everyone together for the holidays.
That Saturday after Kyle came home, a friend of ours had gotten us tickets to the Maaco Bowl football game where Boise State vs Washington were playing here in Las Vegas. Kass was excited to spend time with her brother, but that morning she woke up with the most horrible migraine she's ever had. She was in tears! For Kass to cry in pain is very rare; we knew at that time it had to be bad. We spent the morning icing and massaging her head, administered a dose of IV steroid, gave her some advil, and even used our new pain MVT (micro vibration therapy) device. The combination of all these made so the headache was bearable. We asked her if she just wanted to stay home, but she said that the tumor would not ruin her plans. So she grabbed her warm Boise gear and headed out the door with Ryan, Kyle, and Kaela. She had a great time! So glad!!! Sigh!
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| Go Broncos! |
We had such a great time for Christmas . Our home was full of family from Panama and Utah, we could not asked for a better way to spend the holidays. After Christmas, our whole family took an amazing trip to Sea World, exploring San Diego, Disneyland, Santa Monica, and LA. The previous six years our family had always opted to go on a family trip instead of buying gifts for Christmas. It was actually an idea that Kyle and Kassidy had come up with years ago. Ryan and I loved the idea of eliminating the craziness of buying the right present for each other and instead making memories, they usually last longer. Over the years, it has made Christmas a bit less stressful and truly more enjoyable and we have had the chance to go to some great places, but of course now it's a little harder with all of Kassidy's medical bills. We are so thankful to my aunt and uncle for gifting us such a great trip this year. We are truly grateful to them!!!
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| Family at Bellagio Christmas Gardens |
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| Sea World! |
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| Kass and Kyle trying their luck at ring toss |
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| Disneyland |
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| New Years Eve at Downtown Disney's Jazz Kitchen |
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| Chinese Mann Theater |
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| Santa Monica |
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| Cars Land |
After we were back to real life and the family was all gone, it ended being a very hard week for all of us. Through this cancer journey you get to meet other parents and children going thru childhood cancer. We keep in contact, console each other, ask each others opinions, keep up with each other stories and struggles. Well, that week we lost three children who had been courageously fighting; Amelia who was fighting a DIPG brain stem tumor, Chris who was fighting an ependymoma brain tumor, and Micah, fighting a brain stem ganglioglioma (same tumor as Kass). We were devastated to hear the news of all three passing all in the same week. I could not imagine the pain these parents feel, the emptiness that's left in their lives. My heart, my prayers, my deepest sympathy goes out to each of them. I hope God can heal their hearts from such a big loss.
Also, that same week Kass was having more troubles with saliva issues where she has been choking more while sleeping, more pain in her extremities, more nausea and her right eye has been doing funny things; all this freaks us out and makes me think that the tumor is growing. Of course right before our MRI next Monday the 21st to give us more anxiety. Ahhhhhh!
Meanwhile, also Michael who is fighting medulla blastoma and Easton, Bishop, and even Amber who too have the same diagnosis were struggling as well with oxygen problems, seizures, migraines. It's so hard living in fear for your children's life!!! Sometimes feeling helpless for your own child and those of others going thru the same struggles. I say it's not fair!!! Times like these is when I ask God to please help me believe that our children's struggles are not in vain and to give us strength to keep putting a foot in front of the other everyday no matter what the day brings.
This week and next week we have all kinds of doctors appointment for Kass. We would like her eyes checked, her monthly checkup done, MRI completed, chiropractor and be seen by her local oncologist. We believe it's imperative to do a sleep study to make sure Kassidy's level of oxygen are not dropping too low at night because of her swallowing and saliva problems. Hopefully we can talk the insurance into believing the same. Also, Kass will be seeing the eye specialist to take a look at the back of the eye to check the problem we are seeing with the eye and of course the dreaded MRI to check on the tumor itself.
We are hoping and praying for some good news this next week. Kass reminded me that if she has stable tumor she would like to start her weaning from the medication. I hope we can do that soon too. We are crossing our fingers!
Will keep you posted on MRI results! Prayers please!
